I'm currently sat on a the cold granite floor of Frankfurt airport trying not to fall asleep as I wait to board my 3rd & final flight to Amman, Jordan. It has, as you can likely imagine, been a long day and in my delerium I even started reading a chapter from my Anatomy & Physiology text book. I know, I know, there is something obviously very wrong with me.
My flight to London was just fantastic...*cough* That's sarcasm in case you were wondering. The already late flight left late. I was one of the last to board - not because I turned up late but thanks to my row number. I had an aisle seat - I was just about to bitch & complain about that but I've realized that minus a window I can't look out and think "Is this wing about to fall off?" or "Is that a huge crack that is going to give way mid-flight?" plus you can't convince yourself that the engines are making funny noises. This is why my MayDay ban has been in effect for over a week: I was starting to scare myself.
As I made my way towards my seat you can imagine the look on my face. In the seat right next to mine was.... Devil Spawn! Oh dear God, where are WestJet when I need them? The bin above my seat was of course full. I was glad to see that I am not the only person who gets incredibly pissed off by people taking up a crapload of room for their oversized "carry on" yet neglecting to shove something under the seat in front of them. The bloke stood behind me had plenty to say to the woman sat in the seat in front of me who had taken up the bin above my head, the spot above his and yet had leg room galore. It wasn't too long before I could fit my pack in the bin above my head...
As well as the child, who liked to use his elbows... A lot, I was also next to two toilets. Awesome! My seat, thanks to a wall didn't recline, my headset jack in my armrest was not working properly and the flight map didn't work. Oh yay! 7+ hours of fun ahead! I spent most of the flight wrapped in two blankets shivering and even parts of my meals turned up frozen. Yes frozen. "It is rather cold on here tonight isn't it?" asked the flight attendant as she leaned into my personal space for the umpteenth time. She was practically sitting on my lap every time she reached over to hand something to the kid (who rather marvelously fell asleep although then had the habit of kicking me) or his mother. How I managed to get any sleep I do not know. I landed at Heathrow looking like I'd been dragged through a hedge... backwards.
A quick bus ride, cleared security, freshened up and a quick bite to eat was all accomplished very speedily despite our delayed arrival. Then it was time to board my quick & uneventful window-seated Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt where I stared at a rather long crack in the wing paint until I fell asleep. There were glorious tales of Starbucks. They lied. All I have seen are places selling beer and I am far too tired to really put any more effort into what was a pretty dismal effort to look. Thank heavens I board my flight to Amman soon!
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