Sunday, 28 June 2009

... Peru: "Snit" & Tuck

The flight from Cuzco to Lima quite possibly took less time than it did to collect my backpack.  Ah good ol' Peruvian Time! Once I was all checked in it was time to grab a Starbucks and pick up a few last minute items from the duty free before some dinner.  Funky t-shirts ahoy!   I was craving some protein & greens and so a great tasting tuna salad washed down with one final pisco sour hit the spot. Yum!

I eventually went through security & customs just after 2300 hrs.  When leaving Lima on an International flight there is a departure tax of US$31 (which can also be paid in the equivalent Soles) paid just before the security screening.  Security didn't seem to care that I still had my Swiss army knife in my carry on (must remember to shove that into my checked luggage in LAX because they WILL care) and yet they confiscated my bottle of water. Death by water is obviously rife in the skies above!

As I reached passport control I was stood in front of this woman who proceeded to ask me if I was travelling with the male in front of us.  A little bizarre but nevertheless I replied with a polite "No".  "Then I was before you" came the snotty reply.  I didn't know where to look in either amusement nor shock but I was too tired for this kind of crap so decided to give back as good as I got. No, let's make that better. "I think not but who really cares, we all get through eventually".  She waltzed in front of me, did this weird pirouette and then shot me this look that was half attempt model pose and half "I'm sucking on a lemon".  I started laughing namely because this woman was certainly no oil painting and reminded me of the Bride of Wildenstein but also because it really was the bizarrest thing I have ever seen. Do people really act like this?  Apparently so.  I couldn't resist, gave a little curtsy and an extremely polite "Age before beauty". The look that followed was priceless. She looked like a slapped arse.  I could hear a certain someone in my head (you know who you are! *smile*) saying "You're terrible Muriel."

"And your plastic surgeon should be shot." 

Of course she is on my LIM-LAX flight.

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